Fun Discipleship Tool: The Tally Game

This is a fun game we use in our home for all kinds of habits and virtues we want to grow in our children. Today, I’m excited to share it with you! Whether you’re wanting to help your children grow in patience, gratitude, tidiness, respect, kind speech, or any other virtue, this game provides a simple way to help them along that path.

At the moment, we’re using it to curb the whining and complaining that often ensued when we asked our children to do something. We wanted them to learn to be flexible and joyful servants when we asked for help or assigned them a task. And we wanted them to respond to a request with respect and cheerfulness.

Thanks to the Tally Game, the complaining has significantly decreased in our home and everyone is much happier throughout the day (parents and kids alike!).

Here’s how it works:

1. Grab a whiteboard that you can use for the game (it doesn’t have to be big). Paper and pencil will also work, but we prefer a whiteboard because it makes it easy to add and erase tallies.
2. Write on the whiteboard the desired behavior you would like from your kids. For example, we are currently training our kids to say, “I’d be glad to” when we ask them to do something. For us, this phrase embodies the cheerful servant heart we want to develop in them. We’ve told them it’s ok if they don’t really feel glad to in the moment, but just saying the phrase and smiling will help them feel more glad to do it. It gives them an easy way to respond with love and respect instead of complaining.
3. Write the name of each member of your family on the board with space next to it to record tallies. We like include our names as parents on the board so that we stay accountable to model the behavior and virtues we are asking of our kids. We want to show them that we are committed to growing in virtue right alongside them. And it helps them remember to respond “I’d be glad to” when they hear me say it throughout day. Plus, it’s fun for them to see if they can beat their parents in the game!
4. Anytime a person performs the designated behavior or habit, give them a tally mark! You can decide if you want to take away tallies in your home as well. In our home, if someone responds with “I’d be glad to!”, and then does the task cheerfully, they receive a tally. But if they complain or whine, they loose a tally.
5. Come up with a reward for getting 20 tallies by your name. In our home, we keep it simple. When someone gets 20 tallies, they get ice cream for dessert after dinner instead of the usual fruit. Pick a reward that’s simple and doesn’t cause a lot of extra work or thought for you, but something your kids will be excited to work towards.
6. Watch the new habit start to become second nature in your home after a few weeks of playing the game!

This game can be used for such a wide variety of habits and virtues. When one of our sons was struggling to own his mistakes and would take on a victim mentality, constantly shifting the blame to other people, we used the Tally Game! Anytime he made a mistake or forgot to do something I asked, if he responded with “Oh, my bad” he received a tally! But if he shifted the blame to explain why it was someone else’s fault, he lost a tally. It provided a simple way to teach him that it’s not so scary to make a mistake and then just own it. No big deal.

You can use this game to help your child remember to make his bed in the morning without needing a reminder, keep her shoes on the shoe rack, see something that needs to be done and do it without being asked, say please and thank you, clear their plate from the table, keep the floor in their room picked up, etc. The sky is the limit!

Enjoy friends! Let Holy Spirit show you where to start in your home and together pick the first habit you want to focus on. You could even pick a different habit for each kid if you want to. I pray your family has fun playing this game and you start to see some beautiful fruit grow in your home! It can a take a while to develop a new habit, so be patient and give your kids lots of encouragement along the way!

Blessings,

Kierra

P.S. One of my friends plays this game with a jar with cotton balls. Each family member has a jar with their name on it, and they add a cotton ball to the jar when someone says, “I’d be glad to.” Once a child’s jar is full with cotton balls, they get to make an ice-cream sundae for dessert. Feel free to be creative and try something like this as well. In our home, tallies on a board feel easier, but you can play this game in a variety of ways!